Marriage

It’s impossible to discuss the nature of Christian vocation without talking about marriage, by far the most common vocation to which Christians are called. Before talking about self-giving love in marriage, however, I feel obligated to make various caveats:

No, actual abuse should not be accepted or excused in a marital relationship. No, living out self-giving love is not the same as being an enabler or a doormat. As the saying goes, your goal in a marital relationship is to get your spouse to heaven—indulging unhealthy or unholy behaviors in your spouse doesn’t help with that goal.

Having said that, embodying Christian love in a marriage requires a constant dying to self. This is what it means to live out your marriage as a vocation. We are, by nature, very selfish individuals, within a culture that encourages (and profits from) our selfishness. Consumerism functions by driving us to pursue not just our needs, but also our wants, and by constantly confusing the line between the two.

This applies not just to material possessions, but also to entertainment, comfort, and even relationships. The call to eliminate “toxic” relationships in our lives, or to seek “self-fulfillment” even when it leads to separation or divorce, naturally degrades our ability to understand what marriage is and how to live it out.

The classic wedding vows (“for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health”) stand in opposition to our culture’s refusal to prioritize commitment. As we’ll discuss next week, this commitment is what marriage truly unique as a vocation.

Challenge: Think of two or three things you could do for your spouse (or another relative if you aren’t married) that would be “above and beyond” the normal.